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Happy Sunday chingonas!

Yesterday was International Women's Day, and I spent it with some incredible women, sharing my story and listening to other inspiring chingonas. It felt good to be in an uplifting space surrounded by mujeres who get it. I talked about rejection and how self-love is really the foundation of everything, but something I kept coming back to was boundaries.

Why do so many of us struggle to set them? Is it the fear of rejection? Is it how we were raised? For me growing up super religious made me a people-pleaser. Always making myself available for others because that was the right thing to do, but why did it leave me feeling drained? I used to be a go-with-the-flow girl, not ruffling any feathers. It took me a long time to realize that always being nice doesn’t mean always being good. Being nice can sometimes come from fear, wanting to be liked, not wanting to upset people. And I now realize that people can take advantage of that.

I’ve also noticed that in past relationships, I didn’t even realize I wasn’t being respected. When you don’t have boundaries, people will take whatever they can get. That’s a hard lesson to learn but once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

So how do we set boundaries without losing our good heart? Because I get it. You don’t want to be cold or mean. You still want to be loving but you don’t want to be drained anymore. Here’s what I’ve learned:

• You don’t owe anyone an explanation – “No” is a full sentence. You don’t have to justify why you can’t do something.

• Check in with yourself – If a request immediately makes you feel stressed or uneasy, that’s a sign. Honor that feeling, mija, and listen to your gut.

• Nice and kind are not the same – Kindness comes from love and respect for yourself and others. Niceness often comes from fear of rejection. Be kind.

• People will adjust, or they won’t, and that’s okay, mija – The people who truly care about you will respect your boundaries. The ones who don’t were only benefiting from your lack of them.

• You are not responsible for other people’s feelings – Someone being upset because you set a boundary is not your problem to fix.

When You Say No, You Make Room for More

Boundaries aren’t just about what you don’t allow. They’re about making space for what does align with you. When you say no to people or things that drain your energy, you’re opening the door to what truly serves you. That’s a form of manifesting and the universe will continue to send you lessons until you learn this.

Every time you say no to something that doesn’t sit right with you, you’re telling the universe I trust that something better is coming. You’re making space for relationships that respect you, opportunities that excite you, and moments that actually bring joy instead of stress.

That’s where gratitude comes in, too. The more we focus on what we do have and the good things already in our lives, the more we attract those things. One thing that has helped me so much is writing down what I’m grateful for and checking in with myself. That’s why I created the Chingona Journal to give you a space to reflect celebrate your wins and ensure you align with what truly matters. It’s not just a journal. It’s a tool for growth and self-love.

At the end of the day, setting boundaries isn’t about making everyone happy, it’s about staying true to yourself. Not everyone will understand your decisions, and that’s okay. You’re not here to please everyone, and you’re here to honor yourself. That’s why I created the ‘Mija, You Won’t Be Everyone’s Cup of Tea’ Tees, Hoodie & Mug, a daily reminder that you don’t need to be for everyone, just for yourself and the people who truly get you. Use code AMOR20 to get 20% off

Want inspirational quotes on setting boundaries? Checkout my latest Instagram post:

Create Like  a Chingona Beginner Illustrator Class

So ask yourself today, what am I saying yes to that I don’t want? And what can I let go of to make space for better?

If this hits home, let me know. What’s been your biggest struggle with setting boundaries?

Sending you all love and strength
Viridiana